There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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