do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
