He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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