problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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