it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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