Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
