Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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