i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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