Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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