So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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