a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
