My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
