Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize