That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
