Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
