her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
dude. I can hear the air.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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