That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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