week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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