you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
