He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
