Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
