the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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