He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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