escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
True strength comes from lack of pants
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
