I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I am in a vortex of obligation.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
