he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think a kid would responsible me up
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
