The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
