is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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