He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
