Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
should my penis look like a turkey
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
