She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How does it feel to date your dad?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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