She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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