with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
