true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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