are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
