how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize