The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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