make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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