Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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