Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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