i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
