First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
