my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We're too hungover to prance.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
