Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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