high people should be assigned attendants
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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