Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
