i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think my moral compass just broke
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