Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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