Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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