I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
