Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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