Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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