Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize