so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
