I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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