Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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