Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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