This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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