Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
