Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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