His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
