dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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