I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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