his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
